Q:I
am a mother to three kids. My daughter,
age 4 and my sons, age 2 and 7 months. I
know they are similar to the ages that your
kids were a few years ago.
I find myself being overwhelmed
with things to get done on a daily basis.
Between taking care of the kids and trying
to keep the house clean, I don't feel that
I ever have time to just, enjoy my family.
So, my question is, how
do you get everything done? What have you
done to make family time easier without
falling behind on other things?
Thanks in advance!
______________________________________
A:I
remember those days. I'm not that much ahead
of you, but let me assure you, it does get
easier!
I don't think there's much
time to sit and enjoy everything when the
kids are those ages. I don't mean to be
a bummer, but let's face it--it's hard.
There isn't much time for anything other
than keeping up with the kids, and cleaning
up their messes. It takes a lot of patience,
a lot of deep breaths, a lot of prayer,
and as many hot baths alone that we can
get!
I did it--without a husband
most of the time, because he was on the
road, playing hockey. I never had a nanny,
but I got a babysitter every now and then
to spend some alone time with my husband,
and to get that much needed deep breath.
Don't ever feel guilty or
bad about having a night out without the
kids. In fact--you should! Having a date
night with hubby at least once a month (once
a week is even better!) will refresh you,
recharge you, and help you to enjoy the
time you spend with the kids.
I was always advised to
involve the kids as much as possible with
the daily chores. In the beginning, it will
be harder; they end up making the process
slower since you're teaching and they're
learning, but in the end, it will go a lot
faster when they're able to set the table,
sort laundry and wash dishes. It is good
advice, but I never had the patience for
it! My kids do those things now, but I have
to admit it's with moans and groans. I guess
I didn't make it "fun" from the
start. Maybe you will!
I don't have any radical
advice. Take lots of pictures to remember
it all. ;) When the youngest is four, it
gets easier. Everyone can walk, talk, listen
and take direction--much easier!! You'll
be able to sit and enjoy your family, and
hear all of the stories about school and
life, that your kids will be eager to tell
you.
Be brave sister, and keep
on! Enjoy that laundry time--sometimes it's
the only 20 minutes you'll spend alone during
the day!
______________________________________
Q:I
have read that your husband is the head
of your household and I agree with that,
but has it always been that way? When we
first got married my husband did not know
how to balance a check book and stuff like
that, so he wanted me to do all of it. I
would like him to make more decisions and
feel comfortable with them.
I want to help him understand
more about Christ, and for him to be the
head of our household without making him
feel that I just don't want to take care
things. Please advise.
______________________________________
A:
My husband was made to be a leader. There's
no getting around it for me. Because of
that, it does make it easier for me to follow
since he has a dominant personality. But
I know several wives whose husbands are
on the laid-back side, and want their moms--I
mean wives--to do most everything.
Don't worry though; he can
still lead your home. Start by praying for
your husband to be the spiritual leader
of your household. Pray that he would come
to know Christ. Pray that God would work
on you to be the wife He's called you to
be. You shouldn't be afraid to sit down
and have a chat with your husband. In love,
tell him that you respect him as the man
of the house and you would love for him
to make more decisions for the family. Just
remember not to balk at him if he makes
lousy ones in the beginning. This will only
make him feel disrespected and he'll eventually
tell you to just keep doing everything since
he never seems to do it right. He'll need
your support and encouragement. Don't nag
or get upset. If he isn't used to leading,
he's not going to magically become a great
leader overnight. It will take time, effort
on your part, as well as patience and a
lot of prayer.
As far as certain jobs around
the house, there are some things you may
do better, and that's OK. Like paying the
bills. I pay the bills in my home too. Yes,
my husband knows about our finances and
oversees all of it, but as for writing checks,
filing and organizing, I'm the woman for
the job. Val delegated that duty over to
me because I'm better at it. If your husband
isn't comfortable with managing money and
you've been gifted in that field, it's OK
to make those decisions. Just make sure
you put aside time with your husband to
present him any major changes in the budget
and discuss new investments you may be thinking
of. Make sense?
I hope this has helped.
About The Author:
| 
|
Candace
is best known for her role as DJ Tanner
on ABC's hit sitcom Full House.
Over the years, Candace has been on
a self-imposed hiatus in support of
her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri
Bure and their three beautiful children,
ages 4, 6 & 8. Candace
currently speaks at various churches,
colleges, and outreach events throughout
the year sharing her testimony and
Christian faith. She has a heart for
evangelism and recently traveled on
a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa.
Her long history of charitable work
includes the Starlight Foundation,
Make-A-Wish, Compassion International,
Children's Hunger Fund and Sheridan
House Family Ministries. |
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