I have noticed that a subject you speak on most often is that of being a godly wife.  I would love to see you in person, but until you come to Kalamazoo, MI I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be a godly wife?  I was SO encouraged to hear that your husband was not saved when you were first married. My husband is saved, but his relationship with Christ has weakened recently. His father (who was his best friend) recently passed away and he has been growing distant from me, but especially from God.

I believe this is the time he needs to rely on God most and am hoping you could give me some ideas/tips for how I can encourage him to reconnect with our Heavenly Father.

Thank you for your message and any help you can give!
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Hi Candace, I have a question for you. What “discipline” technique do you employ or recommend? I too am a Christian. However, I am quite concerned that many people who want to follow Jesus’ teachings are misled. Jesus went against many of the practices that are laid out in the Old Testament. He was a pacifist. Why is it then that Christian parents are taught to hurt their children when it’s clearly not what Jesus taught?

The reason that I ask is because on Kirk’s site he promotes the book and videos of Shepherding a Child’s Heart, and your forum also talks about the book.

The book demands that the child be hit each time they do something that the parents object to, even when a baby cries about having their diaper changed!

Page 154 “Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as laid out above. You have no way of knowing how much a child a year old or less can understand of what you say, but we do know that understanding comes long before the ability to articulate does….When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old….Obviously he was old enough to be disciplined.”

“Spanking” is a cutesy word for hitting. If an employer spanks his employee he would be arrested.

I respect you and wanted your insight–I couldn’t ask Kirk about it because he doesn’t have this type of forum.
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This month’s Q’s and A’s:

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I was wondering if you could enlighten me about how you and your family deal with Halloween. I feel that as a Christian, I should not have anything to do with it!

I have 2 girls and each year it is a struggle to stand up for our beliefs as Christians with respect to this issue. I have tried various ways of dealing with it in the past. When the girls were really young and didn’t know that they were
missing anything, my husband and I just stayed home, turned out the lights, pretended to not be home, and hid out in the basement watching TV or reading. Then, when they got older, I allowed them to dress up in “good” costumes, like fairies or princesses, but they had to stay home and we would purchase some candy for them to enjoy.

I decided that when I closed my door and pretended to not be home, I was missing opportunities to reach out to those who don’t know Christ as their personal savior. I got pumpkins and carved neat messages in them trying to reach the lost. One year I got 5 pumpkins and on each pumpkin, I carved out a word spelling out the message “Let Jesus Fill The Hollow,” once they were all lined up. Another year, I got 4 pumpkins and carved out the message “God’s Treat is Jesus.” I also ordered gospel tracts and handed them to the kids who came to our door, along with candy. Last year, reluctantly, I took my girls door to door to get candy because I conformed to pressure from my neighbor that I was making too big a deal out of things…after all, she said, the kids are just out to have fun! I failed terribly!
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This month’s Q’s and A’s:

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I am 31-years-old, and grew up watching you and Kirk on TV everyday. It is awesome that you love God–so do I!

Do you and your brother send your children to a Christian School? If so, why is this so important to you? I have 3 little ones of my own and I am faced with this decision.
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This month’s Q’s and A’s:

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I recently saw your movie, “No One Would Tell,” on TV, and loved it! It was eye-opening and powerful. Even though I thought that the overall message defeated some of the sinful things in the movie, it didn’t make them go away. I’m wondering what your thoughts on the movie are from a Christian viewpoint.

The only thing that really bothered me was when your character slept with Bobby (even though we didn’t see it, it was definitely implied), and when I found out you were a Christian, I was a little torn on the judgment there. I’m not even sure if you were a Christian when you shot this movie, but I really just wanted to know your thoughts on some of the things that movie portrayed.
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This month’s Q’s and A’s:

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Candace, I want to ask if you have any thoughts about how to teach our little ones about Christ? I have 2 boys: ages 2 & 5. I try to teach them about God; we read Bible stories at bedtime and we pray and talk about God here and there. Maybe it’s just a developmental thing, but my 5 year old seems so aloof. When he prays, he’s just repeating the words that he’s heard me pray, it doesn’t come from within himself. And when I try to teach him about God, he’s looking off into space, or trying to play with something. It is so frustrating to me because more than anything, I want them to know and love the Lord.
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This month’s Q’s and A’s:

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I am a young, Christian woman. Finding out that you were a Christian uplifted my spirits, like you wouldn’t believe!

Your role in the new movie “The Wager” is one of a seductive actress called Cassandra. And in one of your previous Q’s & A’s, you listed the questions that you ask yourself before you accept or receive a job.
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 Candace, I was wondering if there is a right way and a wrong way to pray. Sometimes I pray, and it seems that things get worse. How do you pray?

Nope–there’s no wrong way to pray. God’s thrilled that you’re spending time with Him. You can’t mess that up! Praying is talking to God, asking Him for wisdom, guidance and requests. The problem we often face is that when God doesn’t answer the way we want Him to, we think it’s not working. It may even seem to be getting worse, as you mentioned. It’s worse in your eyes, but not God’s. He may have other plans for you and is shaping the events in a way for you to get there. After Full House and a run of TV movies ended, I continued to pray for another TV show. It didn’t happen. I continued to pray for more acting jobs, but the door didn’t open. It wasn’t that my prayer requests weren’t working–it’s that God wanted me to be focusing on other things. In my case, it was my family. He wanted me home to be the wife and mother that He called me to be. I couldn’t do that to the best of my ability if I were traveling and working 9 hours a day. It took me a while to figure that out. God isn’t a magical genie where all of our requests are granted. Ask Him, but pray for His will in your life. This means accepting change where God shows you. You can listen to God by reading the Bible–that’s how He speaks to us. Also listening to the Holy Spirit who dwells within you, when you’ve received Christ as your Lord and Saviour. Praying the scriptures is the place to start. Open up the Psalms and read one each day and night. Speak them aloud; even replace words to seek your specific needs. Blessings to you in your journey of prayer.

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Q" I’m 18 years old, and had been dating this guy for 9 months. I truly believed he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We started off with the best intentions, but slowly lost sight of what really mattered, which is God and His will for our lives. I had always planned to wait until marriage; it wasn’t even an option for me not to wait, but after being with my boyfriend for a while we ended up taking to the next level.

The day after Thanksgiving, we decided to take a break. Everything seemed okay before I left his house that last time, and we even prayed together, but ever since that day, he hasn’t talked to me. I tried calling him, and he never answered or replied, so I wrote him a letter pouring out my heart to him and telling him to pray, pray, pray. I don’t understand what’s going on; the only thing I do know is that I have to trust the Lord.
I’m just asking for any advice, encouragement and, or prayer. Thanks so much!

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A: My heart hurts along with you. A broken heart is a terrible feeling.

Unfortunately, your story is not all that uncommon. It’s crazy to think someone you are in love with and thought about marrying, won’t even talk to you or write to you after you’ve shared the biggest gift in your life with him–your whole self. And yet, I think that’s part of the reason for the breakup. But before you start blaming yourself, or think I’m blaming you, hold on–I’m not. I just want to try to explain how a guy’s mind works (not that I’m an expert).

Most guys aren’t as emotional when it comes to sex. Where girls equate sex to love, men equate sex to relief. Of course I’m simply generalizing the sex drives of an 18 year-old boy and girl, but hear me out. So now he’s had you. The surprise is over; the gift unwrapped. There’s no more waiting to find out what’s inside. The mystery is gone.

It’s a horrible thought–something we’ve all had friends go through or we’ve experienced ourselves. It’s not uncommon. Your boyfriend may never have been ready for marriage. He may have known it but stayed in the relationship, because there was still something unknown in it. But once the "mystery" was gone, once he had everything, it probably confirmed his desires to do something he’d already thought about before–date other girls. Guys (and girls) will say a lot of dumb things to get what they want in the heat of hormones. But let me comfort you by saying, it’s not because you aren’t a great girl, not because you did something wrong to him, but because the one thing that was probably keeping him there–wanting all of you–was now gone.

We’ve all made dumb choices, and this choice of giving yourself to him, resulted in consequences. Those consequences are: him moving on, and you having made a decision that you now regret. It stinks. It doesn’t seem fair. Sex and marriage is something God designed perfectly, but often we don’t realize it until we’ve blown it.

So, here’s my advice to you. Don’t keep writing him or calling him. Let him go. Let him figure his stuff out on his own. Continuing to reach out, even by telling him you’re praying for him, will likely turn him off even more. I know it will be hard, but if God wants the two of you to be together, He can bring you back in His time.

When I was 17, I thought I was going to marry a certain someone. I was convinced of it. With all my heart, I just knew he was the one for me and would have placed a bet on it that we’d marry. And you what happened? We didn’t! God had other plans for me.

A great reading recommendation is For Young Women Only or For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice. It will give you a lot of insight into the minds of guys.

With all of your heart, mind and soul, seek a relationship with God. Stop worrying about your boyfriend, and start finding your worth in God. Let Him be the one and only for you!

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Q: What about exercise? I am only 5′2", so I know in order to lose weight I need to get off the sofa and on to my elliptical machine. Give it up–what are your secrets? Seriously, after three children, how on earth is your stomach so tight? Do you have an iron clad exercise regimen?

I am blessed to be a stay-at-home mother of three, but there are times when I feel very overwhelmed! I am always so busy, between ballet classes and soccer that I never take the time that I need, physically and spiritually. I realize that I need to take care of myself in order to take care of everyone else, but this is easier said than done when you’re in the "mommy trenches!"

As a mother of three, how do you take time for yourself?

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A: I’ll give it up! I play tennis and take Pilates three days a week. Pilates has changed my body in amazing ways. (Thus the tight stomach!) I walk a lot with my children or we go for a bike ride around the neighborhood. I’m out and about every day so I don’t need to do a machine at the gym. But, if the weather doesn’t permit or sports aren’t your thing, you should check into joining a gym and even getting a personal trainer a few days a week. This really helps with the commitment aspect. If that’s not affordable for you, DVD workouts are great! I used to do them all the time when I lived in snowy weather. It was also great when my kids were infants and I didn’t want to take them to the gym.

So, just like you, I’m 5′2" and have 3 kids. If I can do it–you can too! You need to make changes to your daily routine and make exercise a priority. The more you can include your kids the easier it will be. You’ll be teaching them healthy habits that will benefit all of you.

You asked how I do it all and take time for myself? Well, all of my kids are in school now, so I have my mornings free. This gives me the time to work out, answer emails and do my chores etc. It’s all about prioritizing. I feel better when I exercise, so if I start my day off that way, I end up having more energy to get the other things done without being so tired.

Oh, one more thing–we limit the extra paid activities our kids do like sports and ballet. We take that time to do those things WITH our kids. For example, instead of putting them in tennis camps, my husband coaches them and I’ll go out and hit with them. So consider not signing up for soccer one quarter and use that time to ride bikes with the kids and kick the soccer ball with the whole family each Saturday morning. You’ll all have fun, you’ll all be exercising and most importantly, you’ll be able to use those opportunities to teach them Christian character.

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Q: I would just like to say that your ‘test’ is an absolute disgrace. [Referring to "The Good Person Test" at Candace's personal website.]

Could you imagine a child looking up his or her favorite "Full House" actress, taking that test, and being frightened to her soul that she will suffer in Hell?

Children don’t understand the terminology used in this horrid test, Candace. You were a child star; you must understand that your fans are children. Children are still seeing reruns of your sitcom on television; you are still 13 years old to them. These are the people searching for your website, not grown adults looking for holy answers on DJ Tanner’s website.

I would appreciate a response for my daughter’s sake.

Thank you.

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A: Thanks for visiting my website. I’m sorry "The Good Person Test" offends you. I admit I was too, until I understood God’s grace and mercy. It was a tool that helped me get right with God, and I have it on my website because it has encouraged others to do so as well. I do understand that not everyone agrees or sees eye to eye on the Bible, but there’s no question as to the God I serve. I’m very upfront about it as it’s the first thing talked about on my home page.

I do have a lot of young fans but even more adult fans, who grew up with the show and follow me through my ministry career. (I know this by the amount of emails I receive and whom they’re written from.)

I’m not D.J. Tanner, but Candace–a wife, mother, speaker and actress. My website is not a fan site for Full House, but a website about my life today, and one that I hope reflects my relationship with Jesus Christ.

As for children not understanding terminology–I beg to differ. My children are 5, 7, and 9 years old. They know well the words of the Bible, who Jesus is, sin and its consequences, heaven and hell, grace, mercy and His unconditional love.

I hope that any children who are of a young age surfing the internet would not be doing it alone. If you are concerned about your daughter seeing the test, hopefully you will filter the things in which you don’t want her to see and will be alongside her while she surfs the net.

Again, the "Good Person Test" is on there because I see value in it, and have had some amazing testimonies from people who have read it, are thankful for it and have sought out God because of it. I hope this had shed some light to your concerns.

(Click here if you’d like to read "The Good Person Test")

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Q: First off I just want to say what a true blessing you and this magazine are to me! So thank you so much for your time and great words!

Lately it seems like I have a hard time letting go of the sins I have committed in the past. I know I have been forgiven due to asking God for forgiveness and basically saying that I am sorry, but I still think about things I have done, and it brings me to tears sometimes.

I re-dedicated my life to God a few months back. I have been visiting churches in my area (I recently moved from my home town so I have been praying that God will find me a church in my area). But it’s been hard, trying to back away from "worldly" things that are out there.

I was brought up in a Christian home. My grandfather is a preacher at the church I went to in my hometown, and at age twelve I was saved, by asking God into my heart and forgiving me as a sinner. When I graduated from high school and started college, I started going down the wrong path, and then I would feel guilty and ask for forgiveness. It wasn’t till a few months ago that I realized I needed to change and start putting God first in everything I do. I know that if we ask God to forgive us, we are forgiven but how do I shake this feeling of "why did I do that?"

I have been reading my Bible and I just got the book you recommended: The Way of the Master. Any advice you have would be great!!

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A: Thanks for your email. I’m so glad you’re enjoying this column and CWO, and it’s good that you got The Way of the Master, because that’s the book I’d recommend reading.

I suspect you’ve never come to a place of Godly sorrow–I’m talking in tears, on your knees, over the sin in your life. It’s a place so deep inside of you, where you understand how offensive you’ve been toward God. Then understanding what He did for you on the cross and His grace.

I know you know "all the words" and what they mean, but I don’t know that you’ve been affected by it in your soul. It didn’t happen for me until after I read The Way of the Master. Maybe this will trigger it for you too, or maybe it will be something else.

In any case, once you’ve experienced Godly sorrow, you can come to a place of true repentance. Asking God to forgive you, and turning from your sin. See, it’s not just about feeling guilty over it and confessing it, but feeling so sorrowful that you don’t want to do it anymore. When you’ve asked for that forgiveness, it’s been given to you. There’s no reason to wallow in the guilt, that’s not going to do anything. You have to trust that once you’re forgiven, you’re forgiven.

"Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you." - Acts 13:38

Move on, and move into a right relationship with God. Dig into the Word to better know Him, and what He wants to do with your life.

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Learn more about Candace at her website, CandaceCameronBure.net.